a pretty good big sister

Christmas day i was talking to my baby sister. she asked me what my favorite Christmas memory was. i was a little taken back, because though my life is amazing now it wasn't always this great.
as a child holidays were especially difficult. in fact i have blocked out a lot of my childhood memories not by choice but out of necessity.
so i asked my baby sister to share her favorite Christmas first while i collected my thoughts. she said her favorite was the year that we couldn't get up in the morning because Santa hadn't came. but then we heard something in the front yard it was Santa himself. He brought me a shelf a really pretty one, my sister got an easel, and my brothers brother got a crate full of wood blocks. I was eight the year that Santa came to my house. it was pretty cool and the pictures all show a healthy happy group of kids.
as i listened to her story i thought she was talking about the Christmas when i was 10 or 11 when Santa didn't come at all. the year i laid wide awake all night long listening to yelling and fighting and crying. i don't know how my sister and two brothers slept though that but they did. When they did wake up to open presents we were told to stay in our bed (all four of us shared a bed at the time) we talked and played, i worried and they wondered when Santa would come. we opened presents about noon when the blood and tears had dried.
good or bad this is my memory of Christmas as a child, how thrilled i was that my baby sister doesn't even remember that happening. i guess i am a pretty good big sister