summer vacation

i'm about to run away screaming. once again i have no idea how stay at home moms do it without going insane.

I Am Truely Sorry

I am making a public apology. Very public!! this apology goes to anyone has ever fallen victim to another complaining about themselves. now granted we all have our bad days. when we wake up and don't feel pretty, skinny, or that our life is not really that great, and if you've never had one of those days you're my hero and i want to be just like you.
now i don't think that it's wrong to feel this way on occasion but it's what we do when we have these very destructive feelings.
there are two options...
1. Suffer, feel sorry for ourselves, complain, cry, become depress, suffer from amnesia of who we really are Children of God, complain some more, rot, rot, rot...
2.Get over it!! i don't mean to sound insensitive here but some how (that's the tough part) We've got to remember that our worth is not determined by our pant size, what the scale says, or the appearance of our body, skin, hair, etc.

well i think the first choice is pretty simple but that's probably because i'm having a great day!!

maybe we should address the tough part, How do we get over it!
here are a few things that help me.

• Say a prayer, just try it even if i don't feel like it, i probably need it the most then
• Get up, put on make up, do my hair, put on some bling (bracelet, earrings, etc)
• Do something i like to do OR
• Do something that needs to be done (dishes, laundry, vacuum, etc)
• Talk to a friend, don't complain just visit
• Read a good book (The Good Book, peacemaker, I Am a Mother, If life were easy it wouldn't be hard, etc)
• Read: This is a test. It is only a Test

if these things have no affect on your bad day and your bad days seem to be more like bad weeks, or months i would suggest talking to someone about this who knows more than i do.

again i'm sorry for complaining. I am beautiful no matter what the stupid mirror says and so are YOU!!!

sweet schedual

7:30 wake up
8:00 Breakfast
8:30 pick up house
9:30 Play
10:30 play some more
11:30 Lunch
12:00 Walk to post office/park/ Library
1:00 story time
1:30 Quiet time
3:30 Play
4:30 quick pick up
5:00 Dad's home
6:00 Dinner
6:30 Play
7:30 get ready for bed
8:00 Bed time
yes this is the life!!!

schools out...

and not a minate too soon. in fact yesterday i was thinking it was about 3 weeks late. i just finished what i think is my best year. great class of super smart kids who were excited to learn and worked super hard. so here's to summer and being a mom which is a tougher job then kindergarten ever was.

i miss her

two months ago today was the last day that i got to spend with michelle. i'm not sure why tonight i'm having all of these feelings and tears lots of tears. i'm better now i'm moving on. i miss her like crazy. the last day we spent together was awesome. we went to a time out for sisters thing. i wasn't going to go but she told me she wouldn't take no for an answer. we had a blast. we sat in the back rows laughed a lot, we didn't cry too much i'm glad for that, we talked about everything that day, our kids, husbands, future, past, life, sadness, a lot of laughter and joy. i miss her so bad. here is a few things that come to mind when i think of michelle

1. she always could make me see the bright side of life. though so much junk that we have to put up with everyday she could always see the good.
2. she tells the truth, no matter when you wanted to hear it or not she would let me know!!
3. she is a real person, when i say real i mean genuine totally herself no matter what.
4. she loves everyone, judges no one
5. michelle interrogated the love of my life for me
6. she helped me pick out my wedding dress,
7. she makes me feel beautiful even on my ugly days
8. she's an amazing mother, i want to be like her, her kids are so important to her, she loved to just play with them, get dirty, make a snack, dance, sing, teach, wow is all i can say about it
9. she has an amazing testimony of where she came from, who she is and where she's going
10. no task was too big for her.
11. she was madly in love with her husband
12. she was never too busy or too sick to be a friend
13. she loves me

I think i could go on all night but i better go to sleep now that the tears have subsided for a moment.
I love you Michelle!

class pictures

it's not fair being a kindergarten teacher when it comes to class picture how can i compete i am a giant towering over 17 super cute kids. it doesn't matter what i do i will never look thin in this setting. such is life. the kids all look great!!

waiting for answers

okay so i went to the doctor today even thought i felt like a dork walking in totally healthy anyhow we started the testing process. i told the wonderful nurse that if it was a panic attack it might happen again when they take my blood. lol. i was fine just not a big fan of giant needles. i will get results tomorrow. Yeah it's kinda fun to stump the doctor but not really. hopefully we'll figure it out.

what's wrong with me

so about two weeks ago i was sick for like 4 days straight. but i'm better now Friday i had a headache that started about 10 in the morning subsided for a few hours then about 4:00 i fell asleep and woke up not able to stand for more than a few moments my head was aching and my body was weak. when i finally fell back to sleep i didn't awake till 10:30 at night. and even then i was a little shaky.
yuck yuck yuck
so some of you may be thinking this woman is insane and i haven't even got to the best part.
yesterday saturday big sister and i were on our way out for some quality girl time on our way i started having some serious abdominal pain. so we stopped first by the dollar store we walked back to the ladies room. within two minutes of getting out of my car i was on the floor in the ladies room. i had strange tingling sensations running through my whole body. my arms my legs, my face, my tongue my whole body. i was in a cold sweat, not really breathing, crying and in a lot of pain.
kudos to big sisters who was like mom when are we going shopping. love her gotta love her but she handed me my phone and i called the love of my life. i was trying to decided if i should call him or 911. it was a little scary. by the time he got to where i was about 15 minutes i was better well enough to drive home but still pretty shook up.
i'm better now but i'm sure i should go to the doctor and ask her what she thinks about the whole thing.
grrr sometimes i feel like such a drama queen.

a little rattled

as you know last month my best friend here in idaho passed away. her son, africa is in kindergarten not in my class, for one major reason to him i am not a teacher i am his mom's best friend. it would almost be like teaching my own child. not an experience i want to encounter. lol! well since michelle's death things at school have been a little nutty for africa. and until now i never wanted him in my class. today I am close to asking his father to transfer him to my class for the last 6 weeks of school.
naturally when a mother passes away the child is a little out of it. and africa is not different, he's trying to figure stuff out. see what he can do and get away with. he father told me he's testing the waters, bring toys to school and lying at home. i firmly believe that at this point in time the strings need to be pulled tight not let loose. africa is a very bright child and will try anything.
today he tested the waters, long story short he ended up missing i about broke down. we found him and it wasn't his fault it was a lack of communication to the proper authorities and letting africa be in charge instead of the teacher.
i'm going to think about this a lot i know i'm glad he's fine. but right now i'm not

i love the snow but not in april

as i was getting ready for the day the love of my life told me that it was raining outside that made me smile until i look outside a few minutes later and it wasn't rain but snow and lots of it. we now have several inches and my kindergartners are not going out to recess!!! spring is so much fun in idaho!

in like a lamb...

well this lovely month of march started out okay but didn't stay that way for too long. i'm not really sure how to write this but mostly it's a farewell to a month that i would have like to skipped but i also realize that if i miss this month i also leave out a lot of lessons learned. i would like to turn back the clock and have my best friend here in idaho with me but she as moved on to bigger and better things and because it i feel that i've been inducted in to this exclusive club of people who have had death in their life. it's hard to explain that feeling but it's very real. i've endured the dentist, the flu, mourning, the flu, the blessing and sometimes challenge of helping many friends. yes it's been quite a month. i'm sure i could say more but i would like to just say GOOD BYE, and pray that april is..... well.....
a little less intense.

and another one

this is getting a little weird to me most times i don't remember my dreams and definably not so vividly but here goes last nights episode

*the dream stared out with neil and i's wedding not our real wedding but we were getting married never the less. next it was niels little brothers turn. he just recently got engaged and they have set the date for june 7th i'm so super excited for them both. anyhow back to the dream we are at an outside wedding inside a big blue tarp (again this is so not the real thing) a close friend to the bride and groom is officiating. i didn't catch his name but he was tall with dark curly hair. and he was hilarious. he begins the ceremony in spanish explaining what he learned about marriage in 5th grade health lesson. the bride ended up on an exam table and the friend was saying something about he belly button unfortunately my spanish isn't that great even in my dreams and i was at a wedding so i didn't want to ask neil right then what he was saying. but everyone laughed and they moved on.
things went back to english stories of missions were shared, they gave a dance lesson, the bride shared some of their dating experiences. at one point i thought she was going to give the groom a root canal. the dream ended with the friend saying okay lets get to what we came here for...

that's it i can't wait for the reception!!! dreams are so fun. had i known weddings could be done like this i may have talked to neil a year ago to see what we could cook up. lol oh by the way hailey you looked beautiful!

analyze this

dreams always leave me in a stupor
take last night's episode for example

*i took little missy to the dentist or so i thought but turns out they couldn't do anything for her so they kicked me out. this is where i loose my kids i'm not sure where they went(at a later time they are at home so maybe my prince met me at the dentist's office to take them home, this has happened before) but i ended up in the lobby of the dental office or so i thought but as i looked around i realized i was in restaurant/bar something similar to apple bees or red robin but a little more classy. i was all alone but only for a while. soon i met four friends Shannon, Kyla, Bree and the forth i can't recall i've been trying all day. if you want me to i could describe their physical features. well we sat and chatted i think we ordered a plate of nachos it was great how they just took we in.
when we got up to leave they invited me to go up to their apartment, i told them not today but i would see them around i had to find my way home, i was sure my husband and kids were wondering where i was. so they went to an upstairs apartment and at one point i learned that the girls whose name i can't remember was struggling to make it. i'm not sure what that meant i think it was money but it's kind of a blur.
i walked outside into the street i knew i was in utah, but it looked like a street that one would see in CSI NY or law and order SUV. a run down street in new york where scary things happen. i walked along quickly wondering what i was going to do how i was going to get home. i saw a bus ahead but when i stopped to look inside i got the impression that it was actually some ones home. the driver asked if i wanted a ride i passed, truthfully the guy gave me the creeps so kept walking but the road was coming to an end i turned to the right through a small passage way i was out side of the city walking among trees there was high school foot ball practice to my right and hundreds of suburban homes stretched out in front of me. i stopped to ask someone how i would get to idaho. they told me to take the bus. as the bus passed behind me. that one i asked pointing the home on wheels i had passed by earlier. the family in front of me said yep that's the one it should be back in a few hours to take me to the airport or to catch a grey hound.
Thanks i said as i kept walking it looked a lot like rio rancho new mexico but i knew i was in utah and it wasn't until that moment that i remembered i have a best friend right here in this state i was sure not too far away who would come to help me. i found a mileage sign and flipped open my phone....

that's the end it was one of those that i wanted so bad to finish but it was no use the kids were awake and the rest well it's untold for now.

celebrate

to honor the king of rhyme

i thought i'd take a little time

to express my gratitude with grace
and fill up this little space

happy birthday to the king
the one who brought us that thing
and the thing number two

to show us- what is fun to do

the cat in the hat

and sam i am

the lorax

and the who's

for the grinch

and the sneeds

the sniches

and their stars

for the Wocket

in the pocket

the Zower

in the shower

Oh the things you can think

In a people house

Oh the places you'll go

in a house with a mouse

i know my rhyme is simple

but that's okay
i'll go play with my kwimple

Happy Birthday anyway!!!

men after my own heart!

if i didn't have anything else to do i would read all day and when i wasn't reading i'd be writing. so these moments fill my heart with joy!