and a happy new year

so my biggest challenge of the holiday season is Christmas cards. it's not that i don't enjoy getting them and every year i make it a goal to send them but well it hasn't happened yet. for several reasons, lack of time, lack of money, lack of desire, lack of time, lack of communication, lack of cooperation. whatever the real reason i'm obviously lacking something. every year as the big day gets closer i think i really should get this done. then i think maybe i'll send a new years card that's original, that passes and i think it would be cute to send a valentines card, presidents day card, maybe Easter, may day, 4th of July, Fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving and then it's Christmas again and the cycle starts again. love it!

THE RELEASE

"This morning we celebrated the release of Roberto. It was wonderful... There was the telling of his life. That is always first. Then the toast. He made a lovely good bye speech. He was thrilled you should have seen the look on his face when they let him go."-The Giver, Lois Lowry

I'm sure there is little comparison between Roberto's release and my own, never the less i can't help but think of it, and feel the way i felt when i learn what a release entailed of in this story. i haven't cried yet but there is no guarantee for Sunday!

Tuesday!!

we've all heard the old edict "choose your battles" my biggest battle is within trying to figure out which ones are worth fighting. i consider myself a very patient person truly i teach five year old all day and then come home to my own two toddlers, and until recently it was without the support of a loving husband. who on a side note really helps me to balance something out.
i figured out a long while ago that Tuesdays are the hardest day for my children. i've tested, tried, recorded, and analyzed its' true tuesdays are the hardest. it's all based on the different schedule from the weekend, the lack of sleep what not, mondays aren't bad they are tired but nothing like tuesday. and of course they're mom deprived.

today my babysitter brought my children to school after the students had left which though at times is a little inconvenient turned out today to work out just fine.
-the first decision was whether or not to be frustrated that they just help themselves to anything in my classroom. in this case the cup of milky ways (my favorite) that my secret santa had given me today. yeah not worth it. i just said "k next time you need to ask. Thanks"
while putting together presents for my students my two year old son who is quickly learning that opening presents is one of the coolest things ever opens the gift that a student gave me this morning. Thanks not worth a war
-children destroy another teachers play area and are not willing to help clean it up. this little battle didn't last long and i won!
-the post office...mailing a package... enough said
my pre-teen 4 year old wanted to eat everything in the house i told her she needed to wait for dinner and she screamed at me.
-brother danced on the table
-my pre-teen 4 year old called me a not so nice word in spanish. what do you do when your children swear at you?
-brother danced on the table
-sister hit her brother
-brother danced in the table
-sister threw food on the floor
-sister pounds on the bedroom door when she's mad
now i'm pretty sure that ya'll are thinking i need help from Nanny 911 or how could i call myself a mother if this is how my children act. but now as i write it all down it's not as bad as i thought it was in the mo
and in my defence it's Tuesday.
we're making cookies now and watching scooby-doo

i have the best children in the world.

my baby's birthday

i'm not sure what points in life that make a mother feel like she needs to be grown up. at least that she is no longer a teen. i avoid the word old for the sake of those whose years proceed mine who i do not consider old but they definaly have themselves put together like the women i have previously spoke of.
Well tomorrow my baby turns four and i'm sure that that so some might seem like a small thing and i'm sure with each of so many birthday celebrations i will feel equaly grown up and perhaps the anxioty will increase who knows perhaps it will lessen and i can imagine that as my other children turn old it won't be as intense but perhaps with my youngest no wonder the poor middle children feel so left out they can't even cause a mid life crisis for thier lovely parents!

i've been neglecting my blog sometimes some balls must fall. never the less this is what has been taking up my time my amazing family. everything from finding the perfect tree to traveling to utah to see the lights and visit friends and family. how bless we all are.

trim the tree

new obsession

obsession-a compulsive or irrational preoccupation, an unhealthy fixation

okay so i put the challenge out there for someone to throw something at me to see if i could keep it in the air. this last weekend i went to a family get together and started discussing family history and now i can't stop. obsessed!! YES!!

the woman that makes you say WOW!

i started to write this list of things that keep me as a mother sane then decided this could be good for me (and you) as a woman as well!!

1. she's got it together! i'm not saying that she's always put together but she's comfortable in herself and appearance not like sloppy comfy but that she's put together not matter if her hair is perfect or pulled back in a sloppy bun. some days you might see her in high heels but she looks just as good in flip flops or sneakers. i love the dinosaur shirt but couldn't find that pic.

2. she can capture a room! again not with her stunning looks though they come in handy at times but with her presence, her spirit, her laugh, her smile.

3. she can juggle! not necessarily oranges or tennis balls but throw anything else at her and she'll keep it in the air, her profession, her significant other, her children(if applicable), her neighbors, her church responsibilities, dinner, laundry, oil change, go ahead throw something else at her i dare ya

4. she knows what's going on! she's connected to the outside world. there is not enough time in the day for her to breath but she's informed at least to some degree about current events, her sports teams, politics, and the latest gossip

5. she knows how to act clueless! face it ladies no matter how badly we wish sometimes that we had no idea whats going on for the most part it's just a front either to keep us from getting in trouble or having to juggle one more thing

6. she takes time for herself! someway somehow she finds a minute in the day just for her. book club, power nap, extra long shower, quick trip to the store for milk (this is my latest addition, i love it), a short run around the block something anything it's very very very important!!!!

7.she doesn't sweat the small stuff! we've heard this before but it's worth repeating, the baby uses all your makeup.... in the heat of the moment this could get ugly but go grab the camera admire how cute she really is even when she's pushing your buttons and put the lipstick a little higher

8. she could add 100 things to this list!! well i'm needed elsewhere but please add to my list i know there is so much more.....

somedays

somedays i just want to write nothing on here nothing nothing nothing just to say i've done it. perhaps this will pass i just finished reading an amazing book called the wednesdays letters. i cried, i laughed, it was awesome.

I just lost a student. this is when i know i'm at my end when i start loosing kids!! but not really i've been doing this since i started. i guess i just put too much trust in them and their parents not to enable them. i set a high standard for the parents of the students in my classes. i expect them to teach them to tie their shoes. i expect them to help them with what i cannot do in the three hours that i see them in the day. yes i expect too much i know but well it's my job i'm a teacher!!!
i cry i laugh i'm awesome!
P.S. I found the student!! yeah me!

Take the hour and shove it!!

okay so all my life i've enjoyed day light savings time. a lot of people find it worthless and in the spring it's not as much fun but the fall is great an extra hour of sleep you get to leave for work when it's light again at least for a little while. truly i've always thought it kind of cool but after this weekend i'm contemplating moving to Hawaii or Arizona!! now that i'm a parent of two amazing kids who have yet to figure out sleeping in is a good thing i wonder what is so great about this saving time junk. yesterday when i was woken at 6am i thought be pacient this will pass. but this morning at 5am i really wanted to take the hour that i've gained and throw it out the window! such is life and all is well i'm sure i'll make it up some time probably around April and then there will be someone to take it away!

The Day after yesterday The Day before tomorrow!!!

Today is the Day that if my mothers is being an over achiever she is shopping for Halloween clearance to send to me for my birthday. Today is the Day that half of my class is out because their parents gave them too much candy and now they are sick. Today is the Day that the rest of my class has Candy Hangovers. Today is the Day i fought with my children about how much candy they can eat. Today is the Day i changed my class calendar. Today is the Day i live life to the fullest. Today is the Day i try not to get a sugar high. Today is the Day i revisit the year. Today is my last Day of 26 the best year so far!! By Far!!

The day after halloween hasta be one of my favorites of the whole year! this is a day that is to be continued!!! Enjoy!

spider webs

i couldn't sleep last night. i was lying in bed and retraced my steps of the day. i listened to the love of my life drifting in and out of consciousness. i could help but search for the meaning behind so many events people and feeling colliding all in to one day.

i thought first of the quality time that i had with each of my children. they are so precious and fragile. they are so tough, so strong. i want to hold them in my hands all the time i want them to know who they are where they come from. so much to tell them i don't feel like there is time enough.

i thought of the baby shower i attended before lunch, this new best friend, what linked the two of us together; our experiences our tragedies and trials. what once made this strong woman so vulnerable and so unsure of herself? what a question! it's the same thing or same someone who nearly brought about my destruction. both of us so grateful for our simple silk treads intertwining.

it's as if no matter where we go or what we do pieces of our past will always find us, possibly hurt us, possibly heal us.

these events alone seem insignificant, everyday happenings. now i think the encounter of another woman who shares our pain. this must be what has brought it all to this sleepless night. i met the other woman. i couldn't help but hug her. i don't know why i felt like that was the proper introduction but i did it. i asked her how her life has been how her little girl was. i looked at that little girl and loved her instantly so sweet. i looked into the face of the other woman she seems to be okay there was some pain there but like the rest of us she has lived life the good the bad the ugly. we laughed for a minute and then walked away. i met her. i feel her pain. i feel like a country song. for a moment i wanted to take a picture of the two of us standing side by side and forward it on the cause of so much pain. it was a split second and that desire was gone. as it should be.

once again the past found me, it hurt me (a little), i'm waiting for it to heal me.

this may have been posted by the not so nice one

i'm married!!! it's been the best month of my life by far. there are not even words to discribe how Super Fantastic this man is. We found each other and set up a blind date a little over a year ago. he stole by heart quickly and i knew there is none better. We can laugh about anything. he spoils me. he makes me feel like a royality. and he makes great hamburgers!!

holy cow i'm here and the world could find me if they wanted to!!!!

okay so all my secrets could come out on here. but oh fantastic there is spell check. ya know people kinda freak when i tell them i'm a teacher and i can't spell. such is life i guess. so anyhow here i am!!