misunderstood

i have been looking at the month of march all wrong for too long, i have become bitter, selfish and ungrateful. for a week now i've been thinking about this and the need to set things straight.
some great things and some sad things have happened to me in the month of march. but nothing that wasn't first proceeded by great joy and later gave me an opportunity to become the person i am today.


march 20th, 1996- I was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, blessings don't get much bigger than that, what a great impact that day has had on my life and the lives of those i love

march '99- i was excepted to Ricks College, that's big and life changing

march 2006- i spent the last 13 days of my grandfathers life with him, grandpa thale is still my inspiration in a lot of what i do. he taught me work hard, to play hard, to take what life gives and make the best of it, he taught me about sacrifice, love, selflessness, pain, joy, laughter. He reminded me that the most important things in life, i learned from my grandpa. He taught me to never give up no matter how impossible things might seem. all of these lessons didn't happen in march '06 but through out my life. he was an amazing grandfather and like a father to me in so many ways. I made him is last meal, he was too sick and weak to talk then but we sat together in silence as he ate a few bites of a sandwich made the way he likes it. i kissed him good night. words really can't express how grateful i am for those precious days with my grandpa and hero

March 2007- the love of my life told me he LOVED me for the very first time!!

march 8, 2008- the perfect day with a great friend, it was wonderful, powerful and still vivid in my memory. blessings of that day keep me going when i'm feeling sad, or lonely. I remember her smile when i'm feeling down and it picks me up. what a great blessing that day is.

march 2009- this is the month that my baby boy was to be born. how excited i was when i learned that we had become pregnant in such a short time. the love of my life was so thrilled, we talked of names, and moved furniture to fit a baby things, we went to dr. appointments and listen to heartbeats, i love to watch my love squirm as the nurse drew blood for test (not my favorite thing, but it helped to not be alone) i showed forth my true stubbornness as i demanded that i would eat ice cream for the next 9 months if i wanted to, and NO dr was going to tell me different. I loved being pregnant with Quincey, yeah there was heartburn and no chocolate, but the joy filled our home just knowing another spirit was on the way. He has already blessed our family in so many ways. our love has grown and we have grown, we are closer, and stronger, i hope that i am those things as well. I miss him, but the comfort and peace that comes to me when i think of him is a blessing i don't have the word to express.

march 2010- this is the year my thoughts are changing, i'm going to be a little less prideful, i'm going to give more of myself to the Lord, i'm going to be a better listener, i'm going to be find the joy in the journey, i'm going to remember to smile, i'm going to not feel sorry for myself, i'm going to help a neighbor, i'm going to be a better mom, i'm going to not be so hard on myself, i'm going to look at life through grateful eyes.